An Honest Account of My Current Position

Three months ago, my husband and I sat in our pastor's office talking about the potential of planting a church in Portland. He knew it was something we felt called to as a family and was more than willing to help us wrestle through the possibilities. However, somewhere in the middle of the meeting, our pastor (Greg) abruptly stopped the conversation and looked straight at me, posing a question that has completely rocked the boat:

"Have you ever wondered what could happen if you focused your ministry?"

At the time, the question seemed rather innocuous. Of course it's something I've thought about. Dreamed about, if I'm honest. My life would be so much easier if I could just focus on one thing.  Right now, we could literally tell you the day of the week based on where we're serving or with whom we're meeting. Our life has been consumed with ministry, and as Greg pointed out, there's visible fruit in everything we've been doing. But that doesn't necessarily mean God was calling us to do it. Maybe we were just busying ourselves with Kingdom work... really good stuff that pushes us into the Savior and grows the Kingdom for His glory... but at the end of the day, it might have been causing us to miss out on something better. Something specifically carved out in every detail, uniquely made for a single purpose... for a single person.

Today, I called my husband in tears... it truly is amazing how much we wrestle in our refusal to surrender. He challenged me to write down all the things I want to do in ministry; the things that stir my passion for Jesus, the things that keep me up at night. My ministry bucket list, if you will. Well, this is what I came up with:

1. Supporting ministries that focus on making true disciples of Jesus Christ.
2. Living out our family Scripture: "Religion that God our Father finds pure and faultless is this: taking care of widows and orphans in their distress and keeping oneself from being corrupted by the world." James 1:27
3. To specifically invest time and resources into young women dedicated to the mission of making disciples and relentlessly chasing after Jesus.
4. The largest check we write each month would be for ministry purposes.
5. Scotland and Africa... I don't know why God has pressed that country and continent so firmly upon my heart. But He has and I know there's a reason.

I know God is readying me for what He's about to do. We have been praying for it the past few months. A friend recently challenged us to pray boldly for God to interrupt our lives... a prayer that you should NEVER pray flippantly, by the way.  Even though he was referred to as "not my favorite person" for a few weeks, the timing wasn't lost on me, and I'm truly thankful for the challenge. That prayer has brought us to where we are... to what I'm about to embark on. It's something I swore I'd never do. So, for that reason alone, I'm pretty confident we're on the right track.